In the aftermath of my son’s death, I became the weakest person I had ever been. I’ve always been thought of as the most powerful member of my family, the Rock of Gibraltar. During times of crisis, everyone knew they could count on me. However, after losing my son, I became the weakest person on the planet. Nobody expected me to be so fragile after losing my son. As a result, I was treated as if I was still that strong individual, and that everything would be fine. As a result of their erroneous assumption, I was left to bear the burden of my grief alone at a time when I desperately needed them.
The moment my grief overtook me, I no longer knew how to imagine life without my son. I no longer knew what it meant to live. Life had no meaning to me. I was stuck in my grief, with no desire to move forward. I found myself lacking all hope. And although my son passed away and I suffered, everyone around me, including the world, continued to move forward. There is nothing like loss and its accompanying pain and emotions. Because I had another child, Daniel’s oldest brother, Deurias, and four beautiful grandchildren who all needed me, I had to take a hard look at myself and my life. I put my family first once again.
A new beginning had to happen. What was important to me had to be remembered, and what is real and true had to be committed once again. I also had to accept the reality that my son was truly gone. I had to accept the reality of life and death. The fact that we are mortals means we will die. Our time on this planet will come to an end at some point. It cannot be avoided because it is a fact of life. We all have a date and time when we will leave this world, just as we did when we entered into this world. Leaving it is a transitional process, and we must accept it as a reality.
By the grace of The Most High, I was able to turn my tragic lost into a positive life-changing mission. My personal journey of grief helped me to gain a greater understanding of life, death, relationships, and myself. Having such an amazing son for 33 years has been the biggest blessing of my life. In honor of his memory, I wrote his biography as a tribute to all those who lost loved ones to Covid. Furthermore, I founded the non-profit organization Healing Hearts Wellness Center to support those who have lost loved ones to Covid. My life is dedicated to helping others and preserving the legacy of love left by my son. I value family and serving others above all else.
Grief is a process, and grieving is a journey. There is no one way to grieve, as everyone grieves differently. Grief is a process, not a measurement, so no one can tell you how to grieve or how long you should grieve. And yes, it’s okay to grieve, to cry and to feel sadness. It’s normal and acceptable, however, dwelling on regretful thoughts too long is not in your best interest nor in the interest of your surviving loved ones
The loss of my son was a devastating experience and it still has taken me some time to recover from the void in my heart. And although my son’s passing has been over a year, and I’m still grieving, I was given a new desire with a new purpose for moving on with my life. Be aware that it will happen to you as well, when reality of life and death will emerge at some point, along your path of grief. Whenever it happens, I pray that you, like me, will embrace it as your NEW BEGINNING!
Article written by: Jo Ann A. Dumas
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